I'm bored and wish I could be as creative as my cousin Simon.....

.....in fact you should go read his blog after reading mine (though it's probably most likely that you've already visited his blog)

So it's time again for another round of 'That's Gold'!!!!

• Simon making fried rice by pouring frozen rice from the packet into the fry pan and then realising he needed to add water. He thought 'Fried Rice' meant literally frying the rice in a pan.
• Simon + BBQ = Fire Brigade - I'm not going to elaborate much on this one. The photo and hopefully the Best Man's Speech at Simon's wedding will do this one justice.
• The Koala Puzzle - I have a day-by-day calender of supposed optical illusions. They have all been really shithouse and this one was no exception. On the page was written Koala in huge red letters. The task was to find the hidden word, the hidden word was Koala. Yeah that calender was money well spent. I think another one of those gems popped up again later in the year.
  
• Simon & the invisible spider - Imagine Simon running in circles, screaming and rolling on the floor, trying to scrape off an invisible spider. (Simon hates spiders so I thought it was funny to tell him there was a spider on his back. Long story short Simon shat his pants and we all pissed ourselves laughing)
• Simon, invisible spiders and liquefied bananas - We miss Simon as a housemate! It would rock if you could join us again. But if he did I would probably be again subjected to bananas so old they had turned to liquid. Watch out Robyn!
• Suzy thinking we were laughing at her hiccups but we were laughing at her boob hanging out of her top.
  

That's Gold - The Pearl Jam Concert Edition

• Streaming into Subi Oval with all the other concert goers and spotting classy bogans - they are becoming more subtle nowadays. There were the obvious ones who wore black and/or flannel but look out for bogans who walk openly through the street drinking cheap booze.
• No line to the toilet and they were clean - I hate using public toilets (Thank you Subiaco Oval - can't wait for AFL '07 to begin)
• Discovering we has pretty reasonable seats - I went to the concert with my friend Cath who had booked these tickets ages ago for her and her bf. We were on the oval, in section C6 which was directly in front of the stage. It was possible to watch the performers and actually not have them look like tiny specs. But like all concerts, unless your really close you end up just watching the screen anyway.
• Coming in near the end of the support bands act - OK who really wants to see the support band really? If I don't know their music then not me. So I guess it's not really fair for me to comment on Kings of Leon - but I wasn't all that impressed. The highlight of their set would have been when Eddie Vedder came out and played a song with them.
• Pearl Jam starting at 8:15 - This really surprised me - bands don't usually come on until 9. Kings of Leon began way before 7:30 (as indicated on the ticket). I think this would of pissed off a lot of late comers. I'm not sure why the concert began early - perhaps they were already running on daylight savings time. For me it was great though cos it meant not having to wait as long for the concert to begin.
• The opening set - Though I know none of the titles of the first 6 or so songs (go read Super Simmo's blog for a detailed account from an actual fan) I really enjoyed the music. This is a HUGE statement because it comes from a person who only listens to Nova and 92.9 and rarely broadens her musical horizons. So yeah they were the shit!
• The recurrent odour of the wacky tabacy - So even though Subi is meant to be smoke free people lit up anyway. There is no way you can police that and not too many people were smoking ciggies so I didn't really have a problem. I thought is was humorous to imagine people in their 30's trying to recapture their youth (circa the early 90's)
  
• The songs I actually knew - Yay I could finally sing along! The good thing about Pearl Jam as a live act is that they can reproduce their sound to make it better than a recording. Don't you hate watching an act who sound great on radio but shit house live (can't wait to see Evermore at the BDO)
• Better Man - When this song came on the whole audience began to sing - it was AWESOME! And you could tell Eddie was stoaked to hear us singing his song to him like that.
  
• The Drum Solo - This was really good, maybe The Bronze could get him for their band hehe
• Eddie consuming vast amounts of wine on stage, "I'd like to thank Margaret......Margaret River" - yeah WA owns that shit!
• The couple (allegedly) having relations in the stand - I didn't see this but I was told by someone I knew who was also at the concert. They must of been fulfilling some sexual fantasy or something - That's Gold!
• The perfect weather and all round great night - Pearl Jam said they couldn't remember playing in a more beautiful setting - with a clear starry night sky, cool breeze, no insects, and a "smiling" moon. Our city rocks and also knows how to put on a good show!

I can't think of much else to say. I'm glad I went cos I had my doubts as to whether I would enjoy a band I don't really know. It was a rocking concert and that is a That's Gold in itself :)

That's Gold - Third Time Around

• "Without objectifying women...they are like cars" Aaron on scoping chicks justifibly - This line came out one night when Aaron thought it was a good idea to talk about perving on women with three girls (one of whom being his girlfriend). I think you can all guess that what he said didn't go down well.
• Kellie signing her Dad's 60th Birthday card and not realising it had Happy 50th written on the front - Hmmmm did I feel like an idiot that day? Coincendently it is my Dad's birthday today and I've taken the safe route of buying a blank card with Happy Birthday written on the front.
• "It has to be warm to slide down your throat easier" Suzy - She was actually talking about warm lemon honey, but let's all go straight to the dirty context.
• "This calcium powder's good...you can get 3 months out of it..." (drops the container, spilling half the contents) "umm make it 2 months". Simon then adopts the '3 second rule' to scoop the contents.

For the title of this That's Gold page I spelt gold wrong again but this time I didn't have the excuse of being drunk.

The Second 'That's Gold' and some stories behind it!

The title of this particular That's Gold was a that's gold in itself. I went to write the title (whilst drunk) and when I wrote gold I ended up spelling it with an 'a' at the end because I had already begun thinking about writing award. I know that's not funny but it's relevant in the context of our next That's Gold.

That's Gold!

• Suzy almost knocking herself out on Aaron's door after hearing Ricky Martin come on (When this one happened we were having a party, can't remember what for though. There was lots of drinking and Suzy got a bit too excited when we chose to take the piss out of Simon by playing his Ricky Martin CD)
• I'm getting my holes confused - ME! (Okay this is an embarrassing one to explain but here goes. Aaron has a porn called The Babysitter 2 - I think you can use your imaginations here - and one night we were watching it (as you do). Anyway during one scene a girl was being impaled by two men and at one point I couldn't make out exactly which entry point was being used. Only I could find porn confusing! At this point I need to add that I believe it was on this night watching a classic scene from the Babysitter porn that the house catch cry was discovered - Fuck That Asshole! We use this term in a positive light and also to harass people on the streets from the security of our cars. FTA: Fuck That Asshole (if you say it with a lisp it's even more effective)
• "Hey, is it called the Greenwood Brassy-air?" - Aaron (On this occasion we were trying to book somewhere to eat for dinner and decided to try the Greenwood Brasserie as it was our local. Aaron was going to do the honors of calling for us and went to look for the phone number in the Yellow Pages when this little gem came out.
  
• Kellie 'tapping' the brick fence whilst attempting to park her car - Me (Aaron and I came back home from somewhere and I cleverly demonstrated to him just how skilled a driver I am. I was happy to discover that neither the wall or my car were hurt - the only victim was my dignity.
• Suzy coming home from a hard day at work to an almost empty house, looking to relax, only to hear what apparently was the climax of a tango session of horizontal limbo coming from the general direction of Action Man's room - The Greatest Fucker in the World! (This one needs no explanation)
  

How 'Thats Gold' was created...

I first heard the phrase 'That's Gold' when I was working at Pingelly District High School in 2005. Most schools have a Wooden Duck award for staff members who basically do something really stupid and embarrassing. At Pingelly it was the 'That's Gold' award and whilst I was there only one teacher got it (thankfully it wasn't me). After my term in Pingelly I was sent to a school in Perth to finish the year. This meant my friends and I could finally get a house to rent together. In the first few days of living together we noticed just how many stupid things we each do that are rather hilarious to those watching. Inspired by my time at Pingelly I suggested we have our own house 'That's Gold' were we could chronicle some of the random acts of amusement that took place. There has been many recipricants of the That's Gold award - myself (Kellie), Simon (SuperSimmo), Aaron, Jon, Suzy, Stephen, Sam and Jody. Those of you who went to our house in Greenwood would recall seeing the 'That's Gold' awards loving displayed on our quite unstable pantry cupboard. In our new house the cupboard is in a storeroom so I've decided to post our 'That's Gold' moments so they can be remembered and enjoyed by many.
Here are some of our very first 'That's Gold' moments:

• The Best of Ricky Martin CD - Simon's Favourite
• "How do you eject?" - Jon
• "Is it okay for me to use a saucepan on a gas stove?" - Aaron (an absolutely classic quote)
• "Hey guess what...you can't break sausages when they're frozen!" - Aaron (another quality quote)
• Stephen's SHAGGY tape
• "Andrew the pug ficker" - Suzy